Aku dan dia

terbang

umpama rama-rama

mana mungkin luka

berselindung

dibalik celah-celah kelopak bunga

manusia adalah manusia

berselindung bagai malam

berpaling seperti aku halimunan

degup jantung ku

hanya aku yang tahu

dalam sekelip melihat syurga

malaikat malu melihat aku

bernafas untuk dosa

malaikat berpaling malu melihat aku

sambil tangan kiri

lenguh menulis pertimbangan

khairul

23rd Nov 2009

application rejected !

It will be second year next year. I don't like it. I hate it. She thought it is disaster. She even plan on bombing Minister of Education Office! Or hoping that the flood in Perlis sweep the school away!

But what can we do. Choices are too limited. I can't quit and move there and she can't quit and move here. We need to move on and live like we do now. She travel down or I travel up. Pick up Amar during weekend and do the best as parent as we possibly could.

Life is life. I wish it will be better. Hopefully next year it will be different.
But for now, we have to bear the misery of not seeing each other as often as we wanted it to be
... and the guilt of not able to raise Amar on our own...

Untouchable

Untouchable burning
Brighter than the sun
And when you're close
I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night
When I'm in this dream
It's like
A million little stars
Spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on
Say that we'll be together
Come on, come on...

-Taylor Swift

Everyday is a new day
A new life
A new spirit
A new hope

Yesterday is gone
A lesson learned
A forgotten sorrow

As for tomorrow,
hope for the best
prepare for the worst

Amar in funky mood

rahsia...

Senyumlah
Walaupun bukan untuk ku
Kerna itu yang ku cari
Tatkala disismu

Marahlah
Kerna akulah pelepas amarahmu
Kerna akulah pelepas kesalanmu
Indah titik-titik peluh kecil membasahi wajahmu
aku suka melihat itu
begitu sejati perasaanmu

Menangislah
Berbunga hati ku memujukmu
menangislah lagi dibahuku
Inilah peluangku untuk teramat dekat dengan mu
menangis lah..
Pura-pura ku menangis bersamamu
Indahnya dunia jika begini selalu

Tak mengapa kasehku
pamerkan emosimu
aku suka begini
berfantasi kau adalah miliku
aku ada kehidupan rasai begini

kau tak akan tahu
Ini rahsiaku
sebenarnya aku teramat-amat cintakan mu

by:
khairul
(August 11th 2009)

cure...

...
I'll be your healer
In my shinning armor
Just let me protect you
That's what I'm here for
My love is a healer
If you let me near
Reach out and touch me
Just let me restore

Just come with your heart
And leave the press to me
And I promise I will be
And I'll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be
The medicine you need
And I'll be your cure

excerpt from the cure
by jordin sparks

Sesungguhnya aku berbeza
Aku berharap aku sama dengan kamu
Tapi hakikatnya
aku memang berbeza

Jangan pandang aku begitu
Aku rasa terhina
Kau rasa kau tahu tentang aku
tapi hmm...rasanya tidak

Kau rasa aku ahli neraka
Keji
Kotor
Mungkin ya
Mungkin tidak

Jangan sangsi sahabatku
Aku tak akan kesana
Aku bukan mulia
tapi aku percaya syurga dan neraka

Hormati lah aku ya
sepertimana aku hormati kamu

khairul
24 July 2009

...the day

Today is difference.
The path is clearer
And I am sitting here wondering
Why am I still stuck in here?
And everybody around me move on
and taking chances in life...

khairul
22nd July 2009

Me

For so long,

I am weaken by my own perception

Scared

pessimistic

under estimate my own ability

I am stronger now

that I know who I really am

khairul

21th June 2009

(copyright reserved)

Permanent
Songwriters: Cook, David; Kreviazuk, Chantal; Maida, Raine;

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent

I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

...in your absence

Everything just felt wrong
I am shivering with sweat
The cold midnight rain isn’t that soothing
It felt like a rage of Sahara hurricane

The raindrops hitting the rooftops isn’t the music of lonely souls
But the curse of unstoppable madness screams

The night just horrible
I am lost in the bright neon light
Searching for ways to comfort my own soul

But then,
With the glimpse of your shadow transient through the night
Whisper that you are safe in the arms of heavenly angel

All of a sudden it makes more sense
It isn't the night that bothers me.
I am just missing you...


April 27, 2009
Khairul

I am there for you..

Miracle does happen,
And I am truly grateful

there is endless possibility in this world
choose and learn..
if you stumble and fall
get up and try again
Just remember,
I will be there ...all the time
watching over you

khairul
21th April 2009
(Copyright reserved)

Sullen

Days like this
I don't know what
To do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls
Along the walls and
Under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel
To take flight
And there's too
Much going on
But it's calm under
The waves In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in
The blue of my oblivion

-Fiona Apple on Tidal

Our Love will keep us strong...

It has never been a plan
But it turn out to be that way regardless.
just remember,
no matter how high the mountain
how deep the ocean
how far the distance
how strong the resistance
I will always love you...

khairul
Copyright reserved
April 20th 2009